This is a good story where we really get to learn about the history of Tip Top Cafe. You've done a nice job in using the pictures provided to help tell the story of how it began and how it's gotten to be 100 years old. I like that you added a few shots of what the outside looks like as I suggested. But I think the main problems remain and that's not having enough b-roll of the employees who as you said, are the main ingredient to their success. We don't even have an interview with one of them! You also need to go back on a day when the cafe is crowded. Shots of a nearly empty restaurant just do not look good. I'd like you to go back to Tip Top and interview a few of their employees to hear from them on what they think is the secret to the success of Tip Top. It would be interesting to see what they think. I'm sure the owners would love to see that too. Make arrangements to go back on a busy day to shoot better b-roll of their employees working and shoot sequences. Then go back when it's slow and interview at least three employees. You also might want to reshoot those shots in which your colors are off. Let's white balance your camera when you get in there to properly capture the colors in the right hues. I'm giving this a 3.5 which is a B+.
Write something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview.